Home News Travel Planner Gallery Sci-Tech Extras Store Mailbag Links
Amtrek "Dear Amtrek..." - Real letters from real people
This page contains real messages we received via email. Most of these letters are from happy friends of Amtrek. Only a few are from individuals who find our site objectionable.

Messages have been published almost as received. Names, addresses and harsh language have been edited. (Some mild expletives were used in a complimentary manner by our enthusiastic fans. Even these have been removed to maintain a G-rating.)

Date: Wed, 18 Aug 2004
Subject: Web Site

Very well done! You have a terrific sense of humor. I will share this site with my railroad buddies.

Date: Mon, 15 Jan 2001
Subject: What a great site

The subject says it all. I laughed 'till I puked.

Subject: Amtrek.net
Date: Fri, 12 Jan 2001

I have s____ a brick, I am still laughing so hard that I am about to fall out of my chair!
Why haven't I heard about this site before? My local chairman sent me the link this evening....
After a bad December in the Chicago Terminal, I needed this.

_(name removed)_
Amtrak Locomotive Engineer
Indy Crew Base

Date: Tue, 9 Jan 2001
Subject: Website

How often do you update the site? (ps It is a wonderful site, the graphics, etc everything is done well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Date: Tue, 02 Jan 2001
Subject: You are the greatest!!!!!!

Best thing going!!!
What a find!!!!!!
Keep up the good work!!!!

Date: 26 Dec 2000

... You do a great job, whenever I need a great laugh I access your wonderful site.  ...  Keep up the great work!

Date: 25 Dec 2000

Are you sure you guys don'treally run AmTRAK?
Good site, Iluv it

Subject: WHO ARE YOU?
Date: 14 Dec 2000

I just recently received directions to your website, and I had to tell you I thought it was hilarious. I'm telling all my railfan friends about it.
If you're not making a living somehow involved in mass media / entertainment, you're missing your calling. You're a star talent. Do you have a 'real' web site?

Bryan ____
Fort Worth, TX

Date: 13 Dec 2000

Who cares if the Crashella is too wide, the other trains should get out of the way.

Date: 12 Dec 2000

Your site puts a smile on my face as it works out my abs! This stuff is good!
Keep up the humor....

Subject: ok
Date: 10 Dec 2000

Why do All of you at "Amtrek" say bad stuff about Amtrak?

Date: 7 Dec 2000

funny as hell

Subject: FAQ 9: Ticket Sales
Date: 26 November 2000

If you really want to sell tickets for Amtrek online, why not place your web server in the West Bestern location that is on the border between the U.S. and New Jersey?  That way, you can legally sell tickets but not have to worry about the problems of internewjersey living, such as flesh-eating air.  Hint hint: RAILPASS...
Regards, Tristan ____

Subject: Crashela
Date: 18 November 2000

As an assembler of the Acela high-speed loco, I found your site to be EXTREMELY FUNNY. Keep up the good work!

Subject: That was fun!
Date: 7 November 2000

Your website is a scream.  I mean it.  My boss screamed at me for laughing so hard at work while I was goofing off on the web.  Anyhoo, I really think your out of the ordinary interpretation of rail travel was pretty damned funny. Thanks.  I needed that.

Date: 3 November 2000

I work for Amtrak,and this week I took a ride on our new Acela train from Wilmington to New York.I, like a lot of Amtrak employees was skeptical of the new train,but I must tell you it is a beautiful train.The ride was very quiet and very smooth,the interior was better than any first class plane,and this was in regular coach,so have your fun but I hope when all 20 sets are up and running you have the guts to eat your words.

Subject: trip 2 nyp
Date: 30 October 2000

yes     i wuz woundering if it was cheaper on a full moon  when jupiter is in line with saturn and i have my period and  aaa member and starship federation card and my dog is blind???????

Date: Thu, 12 Oct 2000
Subject: Comments On The Site

I have bookmarked your site I have found it to be very entertaining however it is just too close to the truth. Your writer(s) are certainly creative. I will follow your pursuit of excellence with vigor and intensity.
Keep The Faith,
PS I was at one of the 500 station stops last week. One of the few and proud having a real person at the ticket window. The train arrived 30 minutes early and the stunned ticket agent at the crew change location, and Engine Crew, were simply astonished at this ahead of time arrival. However upon closer investigation and comparing their watches to the calendar, they discovered the train was not running ahead of schedule. In fact the train was a simple and direct 23 & 1/2 hours late.

Date: Wed, 11 Oct 2000
Subject: You

Absolutely friggin hilarious.........
Fondly, A hogger in D.C.

Date: Mon, 9 Oct 2000
Subject: T-shirts

PLEASE!!!!come out with some t-shirts. As an employee of AMTREK I can't wait to get a shirt. Your site is very funny and amazingly true. I know in my heart you are also a real AMTREK employee yourself or you would not know the b____ they put out. I love the service guarantee.

Date: Fri, 6 Oct 2000
Subject: AMTREK

This site is so funny, I had to wipe the tears from laughing, I couldn't see or read. You sure got the "company" pegged right. Anybody remember "AMSCAM"?

Date: Fri, 29 Sep 2000

This is the *** funniest thing I have seen in ages. The hobby needs more stuff like this to keep the foamers in check. PLEASE keep up the great work. Remember: for a trip you will repress from your memory, ride AMTREK!

Patrick ____

Date: Sat, 23 Sep 2000
Subject: This is a real funny website

I have never seen a funnier website then this

Date: Sun, 10 Sep 2000
Subject: train status

On the train status board, I am very upset that you people continually fail to list trains that have derailed, and trains that are simply missing. Please correct this shocking oversight at once! Thank you.
Francis ____

Date: Wed, 23 Aug 2000

love it

Subject: Ouch! :-(
Date: Wed, 23 Aug 2000

Your site is really funny and there is some incredible material. A lot of work and beer drinking (and possibly drug taking) obviously went into this site. However, since I work in the railroad business (not for Amtrak), and particularly on the high-speed rail project, DOH! this was a little painful. My guess is you are an Amtrak employee or know some, since you have some "inside-esque" information. You also have that ingrained cynicism.....much of which is quite warranted! But, some of us still believe in rail travel in this country and despite all the bad vibes, continue the good fight. But, there are some socially redeeming things about the website.....the color-blind feature is shows a level of diversity and inclusion second to none! Have fun, but don't get too mean, okay?

Date: Tue, 22 Aug 2000
Subject: Employment opportunities

Dear Sir:
Why is it that when management persons are terminated from Amtrek for the reason of poor job performance, they automatically are given positions of high pay and prestige with the New Jersey Bundesbahn? Is there some agreement here that we don`t know about?

Tomas ____
Zugfahrer, New Jersey Bundesbahn

PS: Excellent website. New Jersey Transit could use one just like it! I am a friend of Steve ____ and he told me about your site. I hold some sort of no-show job with the Lackawanna Terminal, but I cant remember what it is. Maybe we will meet at one of the LT breakfasts some time.
Tom ____
Engineer, NJT

Date: Thu, 17 Aug 2000
Subject: RE: Web Site Praise

To whom it may concern,
I think that your web site is HILARIOUS. I started really getting into it when I visited the NE Corridor Improvement Project page. The link that begs "Please? How 'bout it. OK?" was good, but the photo that showed the "rebuilt and electrified" section of track North of New Haven had me controlling my laughter to prevent my co-workers from thinking I was wacky. Keep up the good work, and let me know of any other work you do, or of other sites similar to yours. I've always gotten a kick out of the funny (yet a bit sophomoric) Bert is Evil http://www.mz.uni-essen.de/usr/frost/bert/bert.htm web site. Thanks for the humor.

Date: Mon, 14 Aug 2000
Subject: Hello...

I don't know who you guys are, but I have to say... this is the hardest I've laughed in... well since the day that my train was annulled and I worked another one that was two hours late... the day that one train running to San Diego died (10:30 am published, but arrived 5:30pm instead)... you know, airbrakes are kinda important to some FRA people... May I suggest a new section dedicated to a *cough* new disservice... the...Pacific Smurfliner®... the train even makes the crews BLUE....
J. ____... San Diegan Service Assistant Conductor

Subject: HA HA
Date: Fri, 11 Aug 2000

Sir/Madame (whoever),
This is the funniest thing I've ever read!!! PLEASE keep it up.

Date: Wed, 9 Aug 2000
Subject: amtrek

very nice I will pass this site on I work in the elec shop. good luck.

Subject: I don't understand...well, maybe I do..
Date: Tue, 8 Aug 2000

Dear Amtrek creators:
I haven't laughed this hard at a website in years (if ever)! Thanks for a great laugh.. every page was better then the previous. I love the site-on-a-page... it just makes me laugh thinking about it. At one point I had to stop and close my eyes just to catch my breath before I clicked again. I think I actually *read* the rest of the site tomorrow when I've had a chance to rest. What I don't understand is *why* you did it - there are no ads, you're not selling anything, so there isn't any real money in it. Was it purely for fun, or was it to showcase your web development skills? I have my own site that generates alot of traffic (www.wheresgeorge.com), and I at least try to cover my costs with ads and merchandise.. So, besides being totally, completely, and uniquely funny, what's the deal?
Thanks again.

Date: Sun, 6 Aug 2000
Subject: Thank you for the site

I belted out laughing on several occassions, thanks for the humor. of course I'm sure you, like me, would just like to see Amtrak shape up a bit. I personally don't mind their follies at all I think its just amazing that we even still have passenger rail in the U S of A. I ride it exclusively for all my long distance trips. Even the 12 hour delay I experienced waiting in Raton, NM for a late Southwest Chief was a pleasant experience. I'm not joking with you here. I was really upbeat and kept my train car alive on that last stretch to Chicago. I even tipped the lady who boarded in Kansas city to deal with the mess. I can't wait until Americans wake up to what has been lost in their lives, move back into the railroad towns (That are STILL THERE) and start feeling human again! Anything is possible! The world is still fresh! Vivez Sans Temps Mort!
love, mike

Subject: AmtWreck
Date: Tue, 25 Jul 2000

I am officially addicted to the Amtrek site! It makes me want to come to cross the pacific just to ride your trains. My fiance was in America a few years back, an was involved in an Amtrak wreck where 12 people shuffled off their mortal coil! I just want to point out, that the Amtrek site has something just dying to be parodied.... the 'fun 'n games' page! http://www.amtrak.com/fun/index.html . There must be some shockwave dudes who can provide something here!
Keep up the good work.
David ____

Date: Mon, 24 Jul 2000
Subject: Amtrek

I love it. Some of it really hits close to home. I may have missed it, but you could include the Canadian train builders who made the cars too wide? By the way I love Amtrak because I'm a rail buff, but I have no illusions. The airplane shot was a classic. Just great
John ____

Subject: WOW!
Date: Sun, 23 Jul 2000

Just a great web-site. I was an Amtrak conductor for 6 years so I can REALLY appreciate your site, very funny and it's all too true. Unfortunately for me (and my passengers?) I'm probably going back for more abuse as an Engineer at Amtrak this time but only because as bad as Amtrak is the Union Pathetic is worse. Keep up the good work!
-Rob ____

Date: Sun, 23 Jul 2000
Subject: Your web site

Laughed my a____ off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Date: Fri, 21 Jul 2000
Subject: Re: Your website

You people are sick, twisted, demented b____. Keep up the good work. I haven't laughed this hard in a long time...

Date: Tue, 11 Jul 2000

Your site is getting funnier and funnier. As a New Jersey resident, I especially treasure your comments about customs, immigration, and immunization for entry to "the island nation of New Jersey" and your comment that "most New Jerseyans speak English." Say WHAT? Keep up the good work, and with any luck we won't have Amtrak to kick around for much longer.

Date: Sun, 09 Jul 2000
Subject: question

I loved your "Antrek" site. It's quite an amusing look at what sadly has become the state of rail transportation in this country. I had one question: Where did you get the picture located at http://amtrek.net/gallery/past3.jpg ??? I was wondering because the old miniature steamers in the photo are a curiosity to me.
Vince ____

Date: Sun, 9 Jul 2000
Subject: Thank you for your site

I wish to thank you for your site. As a railfan, your point of view and humor is refreashing. Please keep the site up.
Tom ____

Subject: Great site
Date: Fri, 7 Jul 2000

I just finished laughing with your site! I was looking for Amtrack and found you (I guess you spell it Amtrak.) You must have had a "great" trip with them. We are right now waiting for someone to come in on Amtrak. It was supposed to arrive at 7:00 pm, it is coming in at midnight instead.
This girl was traveling from Denver to Tacoma, WA. She left Denver at 8:30
Wed. morning and will arrive in Tacoma at midnight on Friday. Great schedule. Thanks for the laugh.
Jim H.
Gig Harbor, WA

Date: Wed, 05 Jul 2000
Subject: YOU MAKE MY DAY........

Somebody in a french railroad news group gave your web site address and, really, even if i have not finished to read all, with my french/english dictionnary to help me understand, that makes me laugh a lot, especially the "Photo Gallery" section. I took, since two years, several train from Montreal to the east part of the usa and you said often the truth, it is why i laugh a lot. Thank you for that and have a nice summer.
Montréal, Québec
p.s. : i am sorry for my bad english.....i only hope that you understood a little about what i've tried to said.

Date: Mon, 03 Jul 2000
Subject: BRILLIANT!!!

Great stuff! I chuckled for minutes!!! :) Seriously, congrats on being named Cruel Site of the Day. I really enjoyed it!!!

Subject: your website
Date: Mon, 3 Jul 2000

This is a funny thing....someone or some group put a lot of work and thought into this and ended up with a clever, witty piece.

Date: Mon, 3 Jul 2000
Subject: website

Guys I love this site! I couldn't have done it better myself! I go to work and I am always here looking for updates. When I want a daily laugh I go to Amtrek.net.
Sincerely yours,
Ryan ____
Executive Vice President-General Manager
Juniata Central Railway Company

Date: Sun, 25 Jun 2000
Subject: Thanks for the Service

Do you have a fax - mailing address to recieve contributions? Please advise

Date: Sat, 10 Jun 2000
Subject: amtrek

I found your Amtrek.net site very funny, but I fear that you are opening yourself up to a lawsuit by using variations of Amtrak, Best Western and Coldwell Banker's logos. It is not proper, or legal, of you to solicit donations to a non existent orginization; I am reporting your website to the above named companies and to the appropriate law enforcement agency. The toll-free number for the actual Amtrak is 1-800-USA-RAIL, the website address is: www.amtrak.com/index2.html

Date: Thu, 8 Jun 2000
Subject: Ha!

Kudos on the Amtrek website.....very well done....it's one of the better parody web sites I've seen! I can't believe though that you don't have a ficitonal Ed Ellis populating thepages of your site!

Read letters from our imaginary customers.

Amtrek - Practice Makes Perfict

Home News Travel Planner Gallery Sci-Tech Extras Store Mailbag Links

This site is almost entirely fictitious and is intended as humor. A resemblance to any real person or entity is probably coincidental. Other restrictions may apply. Please read our Full Disclaimer  CONTACT US